My Story? What Story?

But nothing I would classify as a religious experience. By the way, I have but a running knowledge of some such organized religions and philosophical doctrines, and when I say running knowledge, I certainly don't mean of the marathon, but more of the short-sprint kind.

The bottom line is that I came across those pearls of knowledge second-hand, by reading about others' amazing experiences, like most regular Janes and Joes. And, as much as I was touched, inspired, uplifted and very grateful that all those people had chosen to share their wonderful, magic experiences with the likes of me, I couldn't help but have the feeling that this kind of stuff just happened to very special people, the "chosen" ones. It had to be people who had reincarnated many more times than I have; people who had negotiated a special deal for the amazing lives they were going to lead because they had racked up enough points and chosen to come and help the "unawaken" through their first baby steps. After all, the idea that I, too, can become someone like that is too scary to be true. What, and get rid of the main excuse I have not to do anything to change?

That would mean I would have to challenge my set of beliefs about pretty much everything, including myself. It would mean that I have the choice, as I have chosen who I am up until this moment. It would mean that I would have to get off my behind and actually do something about it. Or would it?

To that, I'll answer: "How the heck should I know?" When I hear stuff like that, part of me gets excited and inspired and feels like doing something constructive. Another part of me just feels like God is Uncle Sam on that poster, top hat and menacing expression and finger pointing and all, saying "I want YOU!" And I feel like turning around on my heels and running to the opposite direction. I've always had a bit of a problem with authority, and never liked being pressured into doing anything, especially finding my spiritual path.

Don't get me wrong: I have utmost respect for those amazing teachers. I read their stories and look up to them as role models, just like anyone else. It's just that their examples always seemed very unreachable to regular folk like li'l ol' me.

Of course, if I didn't believe this stuff works amazingly well and if I were not getting some results, I would have already dropped the whole thing.