Leave Me Alone;
I'm Trying!!!

Everybody and their aunt seemed to be feeling the energy, having the visions, seeing the auras, etc; and me, nothing. It was like I was the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes story, with the difference that the clothes were for real, but it took special 3D glasses to see them and I was the only one who didn't get any.

And when people were oohing and aahing about all the stuff they were feeling and seeing and believing, the impression I had was that everybody was having their spiritual orgasms, and I was the only one who hadn't found my spiritual G-spot yet.

And what about the cost for all these great books and workshops? A lot of these teachers talk about how you can't allow a mentality of "lack" if you want abundance of any kind in your life (health, soulmate love, fulfillment, money, etc), and if you intend and visualize and work towards your goal and allow yourself to receive, the Universe provides everything you need and want.

And, of course, their book or workshop will help you learn how to do all that, so you should invest your time and energy and especially money in it. I have to say I did learn many interesting and useful things, and was kept well-entertained. However, what they don't always tell you is that most people (me included) have all kinds of blockages and behavioral patterns (conscious and subconscious) in the way of easily, quickly and effortlessly achieving the manifestation of abundance, and that those books and workshops are likely to open a can of worms we'll have to deal with. It seem that, as we ask the Universe to give us what we might not be quite ready to receive, the Universe will create opportunities for us to heal and release what's in the way. In other words, in many cases, things are likely to get worse before they get better, and we have to accept our lives the way they are at each moment, even if they are not as abundant as we might wish. In my case, the manifestation process remains pretty much a mystery to me, and that continues to be the case even despite all the clear and persistent messages I keep receiving about how I'll be receiving all the good stuff "soon." So far, I have become less financially abundant in this long and costly process, not to mention filled with guilt and lack of confidence for not having been able to learn how to properly manifest all that illusive abundance.

On top of everything, those who, like me, became seekers through a movement that's still regarded as unconventional, non-serious, undisciplined and very commercial are often looked down upon by the ones who consider themselves to be the true seekers.